This feeling of hollowness like im not strong enough like im not big enough i definitely dont want to wait a 100% for everything in my life to fall into its rightful place...i want to change and mould myslf into 1 but HOW? Im not smart enuf to solve problems on my own im not creative enuf to build things out of thin air! Y cant i? Y do i think i cant? Bcuz this problem b4 me is like a thick miasma. Im losing faith i think that this problem is unsolvable or maybe i really am not the oly key to this puzzle.I live in fear of things that scare me and never 1nce did i think to face them.....the best way to solve a problem is to face them.When i say out loud that i am strong i feel like im hollowing a little on the inside...i feel like im lying to my self confidently...and acknowledgement of this fact oly aggravates my fear and pain.
The day i severed the connections from outside i started to live 4 my self...that connection still is severed and im feeling lonely...like even if i wanted to i cant protect the ppl around me..i cant solve their problems for them like i have no other choice but to abandon them! From where does this feeling rise out off?
I think wat im experiencing is not fear but a passive wrath...anguish at the incapability my hands possess.I lust power i want to grow BIG!
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