A turbulent fight between friends is like a situation where u feel the world is coming to an end! Let me first confess i cried yes i CRIED and ive never cried not in school...not during the last 3 yrs of college until Today.......1st of all i feel shameful that i cried its just that no matter how many times i told myself im strong i can do this at that split second it felt like reality slapped me and said look around you! You are already a loser no one respects me...looks at me with pity...voices like "what an idiot? Isnt she too shameless?" Keeps repeating non-stop.I know even if they dont say it out loud they still mean it deep inside their minds...the mind that exists behind their eyes and thats why i CRIED.It was a miserable moment my original intent was to get angry instead...getting angry is such a common emotion in humans however when im encountered with a situation that pretty much equates to FRIGHT FLIGHT FIGHT...I shamelessly choose flight..people would respect anyone who is capable of fending off for themselves.Unfortunately in my case its impossible.. I feel FEAR faster than any other muscle in my body and why is that?? Its because i painfully know what they think is true.....what they think is true..WHAT THEY THINK IS TRUE?!?! sfx: faint.So thats it i base my value on others..... i let my life get judged on how others percieve me... theres very less of me in my life than the term others!!!!! Ahh! I love blogs they are sooo thought processing.
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